9-1-1 state your emergency... "YAH THERE IS A FIRE {gave location} IN A BACK YARD IT LOOKS LIKE"
Disp confirms loc, male voice is highly excited, Disp transfers male over to Fire Dept and listens in for a few seconds....

Fire Disp confirms location and then asks the male caller...."Sir can you see the fire trucks?"  Male caller replies, 'YAH, THEY ARE HERE'

the line then disconnected....**sigh**

a lover...

9-1-1 your emergency....

"I think something is wrong with me, I think someone slipped m something"

ma'am....what happened?

"I just got home on the train from S.F. visiting Pier 39 with a dear friend, I know she didn' do anything, she is a holy roller"

ma'am, what do you think happened?

"I don't know but my rug is waving to me, it's blue shag carpet in my bedroom"

o.k. let transfer you over to medical aid ma'am...

{listen in to ems staff}
ma'am what is happening this evening?

"I think someone spiked my food, I've never felt like this before"

do you feel violent ma'am"

"VIOLENT, I'm not a fighter, I'm a LOVER"

ma'am....

"I also have 2 mini Chihuahua's and they, they, they are talking to me and I feel like talking back"

THIS is when I disconnected!! 

prelude to a Full Moon...

"ma'am, I hate to bother you but my neighbor is using a chain saw at this hour {0306} and I need you to tell him to stop, I mean the noise he is making is between him and god, but I need my sleep...I'm not a rat or anything, I just need him to stop, do you realize it it raining outside, he could slip and get his arm!  I get along with my neighbors but I don't want them to know I called, they would hate me more so we will keep this OUR secret, ok? ok, now you have a blessed day and good bye"

YES, pretty much all in one breath with the exception of me being able to obtain her address, this is how the 1-sided conversation went!!

ALL in a days/nights work!

male frustrated {after hanging up on a 9-1-1 line} in me calling back and asking questions, clothing, drunk, high, any weapons…

JUST SEND SOMEONE, IF YOU WANNA SEND SOMEONE THEN DO IT, IF NOT THEN DONT, DONT MAKE NO MATTER TO ME {as male is vulgar/yelling/cussing at female in the background} MULTI-Tasking at it’s best!!


***********************************************************
How do you NOT know what your child’s birth date is?


************************************************************
How you NOT know the person’s last name who fathered your child, WAIT, 3 of them? OR where he “stays”

**that's that's that's all folks**

who's on first.....

dispatcher: 9-1-1, state your emergency

caller: who?

dispatcher: this is 9-1-1 ma'am what is your emergency?

caller: huh?

dispatcher: I will only say this one more time {20 minutes into a 14 hr shift} 9-1-1 WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY??

caller: what happened?

dispatcher: Ma'am, YOU called the police, what is going on

caller: oh I don't know, I was told to call, and now being told to hang up....CLICK

{calling from a non-working Cricket cell phone}

**this is gunna be a LONG night**

matter of fact....

**********
caller: {loud music complaint} INSISTING, as they are walking farther away from the base of their cordless phone, to ensure faster service, getting as close as they can to the music so you can hear it as well.

dispatcher: I do not need to hear the music ma'am/sir...

caller: what? I can't hear you





**********
caller: {irritated} well Im a tax paying citizen, therefore I pay your salary so you HAVE to do what I tell you to do...

dispatcher: well, I as well am a tax paying citizen, so that means I ALSO pay my own salary!

caller: hung up

it is what IT IS....

dispatcher: ma'am, what is the problem tonight?

caller: my husband, he is drunk and calling me names..

dispatcher: ma'am, is he in the house with you now? is he threatening you?

caller: he is outside now and has been drinking since yesterday, he is calling me a RETARD!

dispatcher: Ma'am, Im sorry he should not call you names....

caller: well I REALLY AM RETARDED....

**speechless**

obviously confused!

dispatcher: what is your address?

caller: I stay here

dispatcher: I don't know where you stay ma'am

caller: Im right here!!

dispatcher: ma'am Im not out there, I can't see you.....{cut off}

caller: YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE TO BE RUDE AND YELL AT ME!

**wow**

really??

caller: what is the address?

dispatcher: 1205 .....

caller: isn't it 1225 .....

WHY would you ask me the address then correct me and TELL me what it is?


**sigh**

and you think YOUR crazy?

Dispatcher: what is his birthday ma'am?

Caller: the same as mine just a different year

{dead silence} ....

Dispatcher: ma'am, I don't know your birthday..

Caller: oh oh it is .... as she recited her birthday and then his year

people truly never cease to amaze me, ignorance IS pure bliss!