a lover...

9-1-1 your emergency....

"I think something is wrong with me, I think someone slipped m something"

ma'am....what happened?

"I just got home on the train from S.F. visiting Pier 39 with a dear friend, I know she didn' do anything, she is a holy roller"

ma'am, what do you think happened?

"I don't know but my rug is waving to me, it's blue shag carpet in my bedroom"

o.k. let transfer you over to medical aid ma'am...

{listen in to ems staff}
ma'am what is happening this evening?

"I think someone spiked my food, I've never felt like this before"

do you feel violent ma'am"

"VIOLENT, I'm not a fighter, I'm a LOVER"

ma'am....

"I also have 2 mini Chihuahua's and they, they, they are talking to me and I feel like talking back"

THIS is when I disconnected!! 

prelude to a Full Moon...

"ma'am, I hate to bother you but my neighbor is using a chain saw at this hour {0306} and I need you to tell him to stop, I mean the noise he is making is between him and god, but I need my sleep...I'm not a rat or anything, I just need him to stop, do you realize it it raining outside, he could slip and get his arm!  I get along with my neighbors but I don't want them to know I called, they would hate me more so we will keep this OUR secret, ok? ok, now you have a blessed day and good bye"

YES, pretty much all in one breath with the exception of me being able to obtain her address, this is how the 1-sided conversation went!!